Friday, February 20, 2009

Hmmm

Well quite a few few things have happened the past few days.

Hubby did not get a promotion he was trying to get. But has applied for 3 other jobs and has an interview next week for one of them.

He's finally decided that he's going to have to work overtime in order to afford the other child he's brought into our lives. I KNEW that... was just waiting for him to come to that realization on his own.

I"m finalizing a custody agreement then we'll send it to our attorney.

The kids had school conferences yesterday. My oldest special needs son is doing much better in his afternoons at school But the mornings at home and at school are still very rough on everyone. But he's working above grade level on everything, so that I am happy about.

One of my twins A. is doing wonderful. He's working above grade level on everything (except colors, but he IS colorblind so LOL) His behavior has vastly improved with the use of 1 2 3 magic in the classroom and he's a star student now.

My other twins I. well things aren't going as good for him. They believe he has some ADD as well as some type of learning disability. But when kind we're not sure. My hubby is dyslexic, so maybe it's some of that. Out of possible 4's in everything, he's getting mostly 1's. We know there is something very "off" about I. but we've never been sure what. We tell him to get ready in the mornings something he's been doing for YEARS and he still cannot get the sequence of events right, he still puts on his pants before his underwear, and shoes before his socks, and boots before his snow pants. Something just isn't clicking right.. and we don't know what.
We always call lunch time, lunch. HOwever he's never been able to call it that... he always calls it supper and calls our supper lunch. After years of hearing it called the right things nyou'd think this would sink in with him... but it hasn't. He and A. are both extreme perfectionists. If they make one small wrong cut on their projects, they scrap the whole entire thing and refuse to finish it.

SO i need to get I. in to see someone, but not sure who.

I guess that is all I have for today :)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Today i'm sad

Last night Dave and I "had it out" so to speak. Not in an angry way, but in a lots of crying way. after meeting the mistress yesterday for breakfast.... I just kinda fell apart. The realization of the situation hit me in a hard way. The other day I was talking to my hubby about how exciting it is, that our 20 month old is only 4 months away from starting preschool where all his other brothers have gone. I was looking forward to catching some naps. I WAS looking forward to 20 month olds, milestones. But i just can't get excited about that. For some reason i'm associating him getting older with the impending birth of the mistress's baby. A baby of which i'll be taking care of full time. Hubby's only concern is financial. I looked at him and asked him if he's bothered to think about the emotional toll this will have on all of us and he admitted that he hadn't *sigh*.

My hands are so full as it is, i have no idea how another baby will fit into all of this, our schedule, our lives, our house... our hearts.....

Since giving our oldest a basic overview of the situation.. his behavior has been horrible. he says he's not bothered, doesn't want to talk about it, but his behavior says otherwise. I'm again in a postition where i feel like i'm the only one who cares how all of this plays out.

Today the 20 month old gets to move his car seat forward facing, it's supposed to be sad and exciting, but instead it's just sad. One more step closer to NOT being done raising children.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

It's been ordered

Well the paternity test kit has been ordered and it is on the way.

This way it will be ready for whenever she gives birth.

Each step brings me closer to the reality of the situation.

The day the pat. test results come back... will be a very very sad day for me......
I"m stuck in a situation I didn't ask to be in and sometimes feel i'm the only one showing any maturity or caring about it.
Sucks when I already have a houseful of responsibilities an really shouldn't take on more.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

My mother

She spends a majority of her time, pining away for me. WHY? Because I'm an only child and I'm her life. She's not married, has no friends (has lots of cats though), she has no siblings of her own either. ALL she has is me.

She never fails to remind me of this either.

She has never been able to have a normal mother daughter relationship with me.
Tonights phone call (hopefully the last of 12 in 5 hrs) was just utter madness.
She asked me what i was doing which is what she asks everytime sh ecalls (Have i mentioned she calls ALWAYS the second she hears me walk in the door, and at bedtime, and first thing int he morning, and at naptime), With 5 kids on tow what does she usually think i'm doing.. umm gettinhg off coats and shoes an trying to keep the dogs from getting out the door and she obseissively calls if i don't answer, and she pouts if I'm curt with her.
I digress I told her I was doing what i'm always doing on a sunday night at 8:00, giving all the kids a bath/shower and trying to get them in bed. She's starts grilling me about what hubbys mother talked ot him about when she came to town a couple weeks ago, she starts asking me why i stopped working weekends, why I never spend anytime with her and how she's going to take me away to talk to her for a couple of days and that I will just have to leave the children with hubby and he'll have to deal. I told her he CAN"T... not for that long, and that i have too much to keep up on around the house. She said she NEEDS to talk to me and not on the phone, in person. I said fine then i'll come over for a few minutes once the kids are sacked out (she lives next door). She screamed I don't want just a minute here and there I want your undivided attention. I yelled back, MOTHER I have 5 kids, all i have to spare is a minute here and there! My kids are still little 7 and under! Plus we could be adding a 6th to the family! She yells Yeah and we're gonna come to an understanding about that too... WHAT THE HELL? Am I not 28 yrs old??? MOre than old enough to know i love my hubby, more than old enough to know I don't have time for childish games, and more than old enough to know what I'm doing and where I'm going with my life.

My mother NEVER ceases to amaze me.... EVER....I can hear her at her house banging stuff around and generally acting like she's two.

*off to go kill my cell phone for the night*

Child custody agreement

What does one put in a child custody agreement when they are in the uniqe situation we're in?

I tried to google a list of what we should be putting into the custody agreement, and if you can believe it, i could not find a list out there (might have to make one tomorrow with the help of a few friends).

My situation is unique in that it's not talked about often. My hubby conceived a child with another woman. A co-worker. It came to a head last july. A week after finding out about the affair, we found she was pregnant. My world came crashing down around me. We had just made it through some of the most hellish times of our lives and I thought we had come out stronger, I thought we had beaten the odds that had been stacked against us for (at that time) 8 yrs. I was wrong.

She is 33 yrs old. She still works with my hubby although differant departments. She was due march 28th, but they moved her up to March 23rd, and she's measuring big. So she may go even earlier than that. My life will be changed forever the day she gives birth. It's not supposed to be like this, I"m not supposed to be soo scared of some baby entering the world, to be scared of a woman who before July of 2008, i had no idea existed. It's not right that this woman has a hand in the way my life will play out. How my children's lives will be.

Tonight I had to take the step of writing up some sort of custody agreement a first general draft . It took me ALL day. It was soo hard. Writing that 2 page email was one of the hardest things I've done. It made the whole situation sooo REAL. For the first hour I worked on it, my hands shook. Scared doesn't explain how I felt, but terrified does.

It's done now, and sent to her. Who knows what will happen next. I PRAY she will just accept the terms and she'll step up and be a good parent, and we'll spend the next 18 yrs, sharing custody. Doing the best we all can.

I was told by someone, that this may be God giving me the chance to raise the daughter I've always wanted. I don't know how to feel about that statement. I"m so torn and conflicted most of the time.

I know I can love her
I know I can treat her as my own

But more than that comes into play.

I don't know if I can deal with her mother for the next 18 yrs. (Don't even think of suggesting my hubby deal with her, his nuts shrivel anytime she's in the vicinity).
I don't know if i can deal with the questions that are going to come from her and my own children about how she came to be in our lives.

Not knowing things is the worst for me, I hate not being on control and it feels like the last 3 yrs of my life have been out of my control. That doesn't set well with me. I HATE that feeling. It throws me off balance. I need to get re-balanced.

But with things going the way they are, my opportunity to get the balance I need is a long ways away.

*sigh*

What is the best thing for all the children involved?? That is what is important.

BUt it's hard to know what the answer is.

I don't want drama, I don't want conflict. It won't help anyone in this situation at all.

It's 2:30 am... I should be sleeping, but tonight sleep just isn't coming. Too much stess? Anxiety?
Probably both.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

6 yr old and his teacher

One of the twins didn't finish his work at school today, so when i got there to get him he had like 45 minutes worth of work to do.. the teacher could have AT LEAST called and told me he needed to stay after. So there i sat with 4 kids at the school... Oldest son's bus dropped him off while i wasn't home.. it was a mess...thankfully he knew what to do.. but still.. he's 7 ya know and not all that trustworthy...... i was pissed at him, pissed at the teacher... and i don't even think poor twin B was screwing off while he was supposed to be working.. he just won't try because he writes everything backwards and he knows he cannot do it the right way, so he doesn't bother... and she's MEAN! We're fairly sure he's dyslexic and the teacher has been told tihs, but she keeps making him do the same thing over and over again... and was getting onto the baby because he was dumping stuff, she refused to let us take the work home... It was just a freekin nightmare i was just ready to kill everyone by the time we got out of there.

Boy Scouts

Well we survived it. Now comes affording it. I'm still not sure how I'll handle scheduling all this stuff... but it will work out right???

My 3 yr old still has the runs. He's pooped himself 3 times today. Only at home though, go figure. He had an accident at preschool a couple of weeks ago, i asked for his dirty jeans back as they were brand new Gap jeans and they couldn't find them, said they must have been thrown in with the wash. Said they would get them back to me.. so then came the boys being sick for 10 days and so hunter didn't go back to preschool till yesterday. I asked for the jeans and they have mysteriously disappeared.. in all the years we've been going there we've lost at least an entire wardrobe of clothes a caot and TWO pairs of shoes how does this happen at a small child care center??? Me thinks that they have a thief amongst them, but I doubt they would listen. It's just VERY frusterating and daycare/preschool is impossible to come by around here (the baby has been on 8 waiting lists at differant centers for 7 months and he's only moved one spot at 3 of the centers and not moved at all on the other lists). It's NUTS.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Sometimes they are cute

We had superbowl left overs last night for dinner.
One of the kids (not sure which one) when I was in the kitchen started saying Ode the great one, Ode the great one of food, I was cracking up, but when i brought them their food, the four oldest were doing the "we are not worthy" wave and i couldnt' help itk i was blushing and laughing so bad i almost dropped the food. It was really cute. They continued to do it on and off throughout dinner and it made me smille and laugh each time.



Tonight is THE NIGHT. The one the boys have been looking foward to since the little hand outs came home in their folders from school. It's Boy Scout sign up night.. and of all places to pick.... it's at Chuck E Cheese..... Tonight will be one of those nights. I JUST know it! Mass chaos and Mayhem.

Money is tight right now, So i just posted on freecycle in the hopes of scoring some uniforms. Wish me luck!

Monday, February 2, 2009

School nurses with God complexes

I have a real issue with the school nurse where my twins go to school. It started with something when they started in the fall. One boy came home and told me that the school nurse called him into the office and handed him a wet wipe and made him wipe his butt and pee-pee in front of her. It upset him extremely bad. I know this because he blurted it all out before he even made it off school property and usually it's like pulling teeth to find out how his day has gone. I couldn't believe it, I kept asking him questions and his story never changed. Except tyhat she kept asking him if he ever took a bath to w hich he responded No. I couldn't figure out for the life of me, why if this HAD happened, why i wasn't contacted by the school.
So i jump on the phone and put a call into the nurse and she is gone for the day. So i leave a VM for the principal.
Next day I get a call back from the nurse. Her story is this:
"One of the kids had a poopy odor and so each child who sat in that general vicinity was sent to the office to wipe, it WASN"T your child, it was someone who sat next to him".
My response "Why could you just not send them into the classroom bathroom to re-wipe, no need for you to actually watch and embaress them, they aren't 3 they are 5,6 yrs old. They don't need an audience"
Nurse: "Fine then, next time I think it's your child who smells, I'll just have you come to the school to pick him up"
Me " That is not neccessary, but neither is you viewing my child genitals you embaressed him and upset him. It's obvious my child wipes"
Nurse" Well maybe but he said he doesn't take a bath"
Me: me laughing "You're right he doesn't, he showers"
Nurse: "I'm done with this conversation"
That was incident number 1. I did get a call back late from the principle who kinda had the same crappy attitude as the nurse. Her and I agreed that IF it happened again, they could send him into the bathroom with a wetwipe and I'd be fine with that.

The next incidents apply to the most recent one which is why I'm including them

It's the beginning of winter and the nurse calls. My twin who is asthmatic was having coughing fits after recess and my twins have very very sensitive gag reflexes, so he's having a coughin fit and then throw up from coughing so hard. 3 times in 2 weeks they made me drop everything and come get him because he threw up and it's school policy if there is vommitting, the child must go home. I got a Dr.s note after the 3rd incident saying they both had sensitive gag reflexes and also texture adversions (jello can bring on throwing up), and that they weren't really ill. The Dr.s note was never needed though because they haven't throwin up again lately.

That brings me to this morning. Since last Wednesday night some or all of the kids have been sick. Coughing green crust, diarhea, and throwing up. It was hard to tell what was what, and who was doing what. Especially with the twins who had a cough. i couldn't tell what was gagging throw up and what was flu type throwing up. SO I"ve kept the kids or part of them home Thurs. Friday and now today monday Just to be on the safe side. (I HATE when people send sick kids to school). This is the frist days of school they have missed this year (except for the days they were sent home becuase of the gagging throwing up).

This morning I get a call from the evil school nurse. She says "I need to know where *** & **** are
I said "at home with me sick"
"Well what kind of sick" she says
I said "croupy sounding coughs accompanied by throwing up and green crusty noses."
"Well I hope to God you've had them to the doctor..... "
I said "as a matter of fact not, I have 5 kids, anytime they get croupy sounding coughs, i get told to do steam baths and to come back if it gets worse. So i saved myself the copays and have been doing the steaming and they are getting better, you will probably see them tomorrow"
"WEll they NEED to see a doctor"
"Is there something in the parent handbook i missed about them needing to have a Dr.s note for croup to be admitted back to school if they HAVEN"T been sent home sick"
"NO but in my professional opinion they need to be seen, if you like i could come do a home visit on chek on everything"
(insert my jaw dropping)
"That will NOT be necessary"
Said in a snotty tone "You SAID they have croup but they also are throwing up, if they are just throwing up from a cough, you can send them back"
"Umm you sent them home 3 times in the last couple of months from throwing up, becaue of coughing, i will NOT be sending them in, just to have them sent home, HENCE my keeping them home to begin with"
"I don't recall that EVER happening"
(inset my second jaw drop)
"Just send them in, they NEED to be at school"
"No Mrs. **** They don't, they are my children, i think they need to be home, so I will be keeping them home till i feel they are ready to come back. "
" Fine do whatever you think is best but i have a HUGE problem with you keeping them home, have a good day"
*call ended*


This nurse obviously has a huge issue with me. I don't understand and I dont' think it's fair. My kids will be at this school for 6 years. I need to try to get along with this woman, but I don't know how. She's got a God complex. She's nuts. Plain and Simple.

Conversation with my oldest childs school nurse
"Hey this is ********, ***'s mom"
"He is still not feeling well, i want to make sure he's feeling all better before i send him back, you'll probably seeing him tomorrow "
"Awww poor guy, tell him i hope he feels better and we'll see him as soon as he feels up to it"
"I'll tell him, thanks, bye bye"
End of story......... I get along fabulously with my older childs school, so I just do NOT understand the attitude of my twins' school.

*sigh* I can't wait till summer.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Octuplets

I have so many thoughts about this situation but will have to wait till later to put them on my blog.. for right now, i'll just post this link
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/01/29/earlyshow/health/main4761676.shtml?source=mostpop_story


I gave up on writing out my feelings on this. It's such a sad situation all around. Especially with the constantly emerging details that may or may not be true.
I think the woman did it for money. I think the reproduction specialist should lose his/her license for unethical practices. I tihnk the people of california should protest paying for the care of these babies. I think CPS needs to be involved before they even go home because there is NO WAY a single adult can care for 14 children alone when at least 8 of them are under 2. There is limits on daycares for a reason. Because one person cannot adequately and safely care for that many children alone.

Cooking challenged

I never cooked. even when I had 3 kids and even 4, I'd have much rather spent $20 on pizza or mcdonalds rather than buying $20 worth of ingredients to cook something for supper. I hated the cooking, and i REALLY detested the clean up. Lately though I seem to be coming into my own as far as the kitchen is concerned.
It all started with an agreement with hubby that i would cook ONLY if he cleaned up. I never thought he'd keep up on the kitchen... i was WRONG. So i slowly started to look at cook.com recipes and all recipes.com and started making some things.. EASY things... i also went for a LOT of boxed mixes. Slowly the boys stopped making fugly faces at my food and started to say yum.
Then I started thinking about Once a month cooking some friends on a message board talk about it on and off... and while i have the best of intentions i just don't have that kind of organization to do it.. (yet). I also like to bargain shop and a message board friend posted about buying a whole pork loin and dviding it up and freezing it into chops, roasts etc... i thought it sounded great plus it saves us money (we are feeding 5 very healthy apetited kids) LOL.

SO the first month i bought one..... AND it went bad in the bottom of my fridge (have i mentioned i can be lazy). So i gave up, then after a couple months I tried it again. and this time.... i cut it up right away and threw it in the freezer, but i kept forgetting to thaw it so i never had it on hand for dinner... so it got freezer burnt and went in the trash... LOL (Domestically challenged doesnt' even begin to cover where i was at in my starting point). SO i resolved to use the damn thing next time. So i did.. i finally got into a routine of remembering to thaw meat and therefore started looking ahead at dinners at least by a couple days. Thawing the meat ahead of time changed my cooking thinking by a little.

Then there was the leftovers.... I HATE leftovers i never ate them... they just sat in the fridge and went bad. My grandmother watching from above though kept me from throwing them right away LOL. My next challenge was to learn to utilize my leftovers. Hubby started taking them to work insteasd of eating in the work cafeteria (which saves us $6/day). Then i started feeding them to the kids and they actually ate them and didn't mind. Then my horizons got bigger..... I could use the left overs to make other actual meals! (some of this might seem kinda DUH to you, but to me, it was all new territory).

I already started buying a lot of fresh ingredients peppers, onions etc.. and using them since i didn't have to worry about the clean up anymore LOL. So anytime i had leftover sitting in the fridge for more than a couple days i'd just throw the baggie or container in the freezer to keep it from going bad. I also buy the 3 lb pkgs of ground beef and usually only use 2 lbs at a time so i'd brown all 3 and throw the extra lb in the freezer So that brings me to todays feat! I made a roast last 3 days!
First night we had a beef roast with potatoes and carrots.
Second night we had shredded beef and BBQ sandwhiches
TONIGHT.. we will have veggie/beef/pasta soup!
I used the roast we had left after i shredded some for last nights dinner, i used the left over potatoes and carrots, i had 1 lb of frozen ground beef in the freezer, i also had a zip lock of frozen onions, mixed green and yellow peppers, and some frozen corn. Add some garlic, salt, pepper, beef base, and some uncooked egg noodles! VOILA!
I'm sooo proud of myself.

Ohh boy

Well one of the 6 yr olds woke up puking at 4 am. Had to strip the bed and shower him. Both twins have very very sensitive gag reflexs as well as some texture adversions the lead to puking. Anytime they get a cold and cough from the phlem running down the backs of their throats it leads directly to throwing up. But Isaac hasn't been coughing yet, so he's home today in case it's the flu. One twin didn't want to go to school without the other one, so he's home as well. The 3 yr old has green boogers so he's home and of course the baby is home. It's going to be a very long day. (As i'm typing this the 19 month old is taking the leap of death off the coffee table into the arms of his various brothers) *sigh*.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Symantics of punishments

When you have 5 kids and two adults in a 2 bedroom 900 sq ft house.. things can get dicey when it comes to bedtimes, time outs etc.
One thing I'm confident of is that they will definatley know how to not only share their stuff, but their space as well.
In order to feel like home, i'm certain WHEN they go to College (they have no other option), they will be picking dorm living LOL . It would be too much of a culture shock to go to having more space than that.
But I digress.... the 3 yr old and the 19 month old still nap. One of the 6 yr olds got in trouble this morning for ramming his twin brother in the ribs, and it's early release day.... AYE YI YI....
So i've the littlest one in his room napping, the 3 yr old in his room napping, the naughty 6 yr old is on the couch grounded, and the other two are on the laptop playing webkinz. But of course the in trouble 6 yr old just cannot help but spy on what the other 2 are doing (plus he keeps playing with the pets), plus the TV is on for me, so it begs the question... is this REALLY punishment, or just an inconvience to him? *sigh* What i could do with just ONE more bedroom ooooh and another bathroom too! PLEASE lol

Wednesday

Today has been so-so. I did do something out of character for me though. This morning was watching the Today show and signed up for a free autographed pic of Kathie Lee and Hoda LOL
I was one of the first 5 wall posters on facebook. 20,050 and they were offering them to the first 200! So i feel kinda cool/dorky that I won lol
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/kathieleeandhoda

Home sick again

Hunter is home sick again, he's got a really croupy sounding cough. Logan is still blowing out his diaper every couple of hours. I feel ok as long as i don't eat or try to go to the bathroom, otherwise i actually almost cry from pain. I'm not convinced it's my kidneys because the pain is in front, not in my back. Maybe it's my hernia acting up..... not having insurance really sucks!

The Movie

It was really good. Hubby fell asleep a little over half way through (it was getting late though).
A lot of it was religious, which i wasn't expecting since i had been told there was religious under tones but it wasn't in your face. It was pretty much faith based (which doesn't bother me, but might bother others). I laughed and i cried a few times.... and it hit home...
It gave me a lot to think about.......
Hubby says it's only called Fireproof to trick men into watching it LOL. (He was kidding).

I was happy to see that several of my favorite songs were in it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-8SYA6rfbs

Here are some others that are special to me but not included in the movie..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIim2Hvz0sE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvDEa8LiZy8

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Fireproof

The movie Fireproof came out today on DVD. I"v e heard it's really good for those working throug issues in their marriage. Everything from falling out of love with one another, to infidelity (something i'm currently dealing with). I finally broke down from giving hubby the silent treatment because of this morning and emailed him and asked him if he wanted to see it, He asked what it was about, and now I KNOW i'm sunk lol. But i guess we shall see...
I have high hopes that maybe.. it will help things....
http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/stories/


At work, inside burning buildings, Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter's adage: Never leave your partner behind. At home, in the cooling embers of his marriage, he lives by his own rules.Growing up, Catherine Holt always dreamed of marrying a loving, brave firefighter...just like her daddy. Now, after seven years of marriage, Catherine wonders when she stopped being "good enough" for her husband. Regular arguments over jobs, finances, housework, and outside interests have readied them both to move on to something with more sparks. As the couple prepares to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb's father challenges his son to commit to a 40-day experiment: "The Love Dare." Wondering if it's even worth the effort, Caleb agrees-for his father's sake more than for his marriage. When Caleb discovers the book's daily challenges are tied into his parents' newfound faith, his already limited interest is further dampened.While trying to stay true to his promise, Caleb becomes frustrated time and again. He finally asks his father, "How am I supposed to show love to somebody who constantly rejects me?"When his father explains that this is the love Christ shows to us, Caleb makes a life-changing commitment to love God. Andówith God's helpóhe begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife. But is it too late to fireproof his marriage? His job is to rescue others. Now Caleb Holt is ready to face his toughest job ever...rescuing his wife's heart.

I will let you all know after I see it, how it was

What a morning

I got sick last night with my kidney stones and then woke up with a fever and sore throat on top of it. Hubby (well common LAW FOR 9 YRS but you know....) anyway he woke up bright and early and I was sick and asked him to stay home from work to help me. He said NO..... That he'd already missed too much because of his having the flu last week and he could not miss anymore due to money. UMMMM why is it when he's sick he gets a day or two off work, but when i'm sick i still have to do all the normal mommy duties and get ZERO time off? Isn't that a little backasswards, Since i lost my job (looking for another one right now) i'm now a stay at home mom, which is ALSO A JOB so don't i deserve days off..*sigh*
I feel like crap.
Anyway after butthead left for work, i went in to get logan up and was hit with a horrible smell....
The baby (19 months) was covered in poo from shoulders to ankles. UGHHHH I had to give him a bath while trying to get 4 others to get dressed.
It was just one of those mornings!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Jr. High

I was just on facebook and saw that a friend had joined a group for our Jr. high school, So i also joined. WOW someone had taken pics of their yearbooks and posted them, they happened to be the years I was there as well. It was such a blast from the past. I sat here looking, crying at the same time, thinking of all the things i could have done differant. My personal unraveling happened in 8th grade (here JR. High is 7,8,9th grades). The teasing i endured and remembered from the pictures also caused tears. Im' half tempted to unjoin.. most of the memories are bad.
*sigh*
Can't wait to see what dreams are in store for me tonight.

And why can't they do it?

I really get fed up with other moms whining that they will ONLY have help with their children the first few days after they are born or OHH NOOO how will i take TWO kids shopping, whine whine.. I mean they might actually have to take care of the kids they had without help from anyone.. Ohh the horror!

I have 5 children , boys, I had them all in 6 yrs 3 months. One is special needs. I take care of them mostly by myself and during a break-up that lasted many months with their father (more on that in later blog posts), I was a single mother to 5 kids 6 and under. I did it.

I also work part time on top of everything else (I'm currently looking for a job right now though after being let go from t he pet store I worked at).

I had my first 3 boys in under 20 months ( a set of twins). My significant other was working full time as well as a college student so he couldn't help me with the boys. I don't remember much of those first few months. But I DID IT.

I have actually seen message board posts that say something to the efffect of "My mother in law has been here for 7 months helping me care for (pick a name). She's going back home tomorrow, WHAT DO I DO? How do i care for my child..."
Are you freeking kidding me??